Smells like obsession

So, forces conspired to keep me off my skates for almost a week. The last time I’d skated was Tuesday, when the Heartless Heathers graciously opened their practice to me and some other Fresh Meat skaters.

An early-morning refrigerator delivery robbed me of precious, precious sleep. Seriously, who thinks that the 7-o’clock hour is a good time to be delivering large appliances?

Then, the morning after next, my body decided, for no apparent reason, that 4:15am was a great time to be awake. I tried going back to sleep for over an hour, and then begrudgingly got up and plowed through Thursday on 5 hours of sleep. It’s probably good that I had a super-important business/networking event keeping me from Thursday night practice, because putting me on skates in that state would’ve surely ended in disaster.

THEN? The raging nerd in me took over for the weekend, and I went to the Penny Arcade Expo in Seattle. I’ve been going to PAX since before I knew that Portland even had a roller derby league, and I’ve been a gamer for as long as I can remember. Spocker the derby girl really wanted a big block of skate time, but my inner dweeb would not be denied. I spent a lot of time at PAX feeling weirdly antsy, tired, and cranky, and it was a lot of standing, sitting, and waiting in line, but some truly awesome things happened to make it all worth it.

After a completely exhausting–but totally fun-tastic–weekend at PAX, and so many sleep-deprived nights before going to the convention, the idea of getting on skates for High Rollers practice tonight didn’t exactly sound appealing. What sounded good was to just go home, flop down on my bed, and read until I passed out, but I made myself go to that practice. “Even if you have a lousy practice and you’re falling all over the place, you’ll feel worse if you don’t go,” I told myself.

And you know? I was totally right. A half-hour of circuit training, two hours of skating, and now there’s no antsy, cranky, or tired to be found. Well, okay, maybe there’s some tired. But it’s the good, satisfying kind. And I had FUN. No waiting in line, no milling around, and if a cluster of people got in my way, I could juke and weave and shoulder-check my way through it. Hell yes.

It’s easy for me to forget this, because it’s a (relatively) new addition to my life, but some part of me NEEDS this whole derby thing to feel normal and happy. I skip out on parties, I miss out on social events, and I even rearrange my work schedule for derby. My mind lingers on how my new(-ish) boots feel, or whether I’m cross-training enough, or when I’ll be able to do more NSO training. It’s probably safe to say there’s a little bit of an obsession, here.

So, yeah. Remind me never to go that long without skating again. Yeesh.


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