How to Have an Utterly Miserable and Unproductive Week

  1. Observe potential bladder infection symptoms on Friday night. Assume (falsely) that your primary care clinic is closed on the weekends, and resolve to go in Monday.
  2. Work Rinxter at Saturday Home Team bout, and Outside White Board at Sunday Rosebuds bout, thereby exposing yourself to lots and lots of people. Then, follow ‘Buds bout with skating in your first 2nd-hour league endurance since re-joining Fresh Meat.
  3. Wake up at 4am Sunday night/Monday morning with raging fever and horrible chills. Calm it down with Tylenol and go back to sleep.
  4. Go to doctor on Monday, as already planned, and be informed that you either have a bladder infection and the flu AT THE SAME TIME, or (even worse) the beginnings of a kidney infection.
  5. Go to pharmacy. Get absurdly-expensive-but-apparently-strong antibiotics. Try not to pass out while they count out SEVEN PILLS. Very, verrrry slowly.
  6. Spend the following 48 hours laying in bed, either sleeping or shivering, and taking Tylenol like candy to keep your fever down. Watch Hulu when your head stops hurting enough that you can stand to keep your eyes open.

…yeah. Three days of fever? I don’t recommend it.

Fortunately, it’s been 16 hours since I last took any Tylenol for the fever, so I think the worst is over. I intend to actually leave both my room AND my house for a bit this evening, and get myself a burger and fries. Because, I don’t know, that just sounds really effin’ good right now.

I’ll be glad to get back to work tomorrow. Worst. Three-day “vacation.” EVER.

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