Selling Tickets as Fresh Meat Is The Opposite of Fun

Yeah, I’ve been a bad blogger, as of late. Sorry about that. Work took over my life for a bit, and after three weekends in a row with no days off, I had a serious case of the I-Don’t-Want-To-Be-Heres. As in, the thing that happens when you’re doing something you’d normally enjoy, but all you can hear is a petulant voice in your head saying, “UGH I WANT TO GO HOME NOWNOWNOWNOW.”

The best cure for that? A day off. Or, what my naturopath likes to call a Cat Day: a day when you lay around and don’t do much more than what a cat would do. (i.e. take naps in the sun, eat, relax.)

ANYWAY.

This weekend is the big WOJ vs. Windy bout at the Coliseum! Whenever we have bouts at the Coliseum, the workload goes way up–there’s floor teardown, setup at the venue, teardown after the bouts, and re-setting the floor at the Hangar. And, there’s also the task of selling tickets to basically everyone you know.

I’m not so good at that last one. Which, yeah, I’m an introvert, so talking to strangers doesn’t exactly come naturally. Sales is also a thing I *really* don’t enjoy–it’s also my least-favorite part of running my own business. But, being on Fresh Meat doesn’t exactly help with making the sale, either.

For example:

Meatie: [insert opening schpiel here, to the tune of, “Roller derby is awesome! I’m selling tickets for the next bout! You should totally come watch!]
Person 1: [Looks at flyer. Looks at Person 2.]
Person 2: [Looks at Person 1.]
Person 1 & 2: [Look at Meatie as if she has spontaneously acquired leprosy. Resume talking to each other.]
Meatie: [SADFACE]

(yes, that actually happened.)

Or, if they actually talk to you:

Meatie: [insert opening schpiel here, to the tune of, “Roller derby is awesome! I’m selling tickets for the next bout! You should totally come watch!]
Person: Wow, that’s cool! Are you skating in this?
Meatie: Well, no, I’m not on a team yet. I’m Fresh Meat. But it’ll still be awesome, and I can get you cheap tickets!
Person: Oh, okay. Well, thanks! [wanders off]
Meatie: [SADFACE]

OR, the extended version, when you’re not talking to a total stranger:

Meatie: [insert opening schpiel here, to the tune of, “Roller derby is awesome! I’m selling tickets for the next bout! You should totally come watch!]
Friend: That sounds awesome! I’d love to come see you skate!
Meatie: Well, I’m not actually skating in this one.
Friend: Oh, well, when are you going to be playing?
Meatie: Well, I don’t actually know, because I’m in the draft pool, so hopefully after the next draft, but there aren’t a lot of spots available on teams…
Friend: Oh. Well, it might still be fun to come watch the game with you! You can help me keep up with what’s going on!
Meatie: …er, actually, I can’t hang out with you, because Fresh Meat are required to work as an [ usher / merch / official / mascot / etc.] during the game. But, it’ll still be fun, and I can get you cheap tickets!
Friend: Ah, okay. Well, let me know when you’re playing, and I’ll just come then!
Meatie: [ULTRA SADFACE]

Yeah, it’s not the easiest thing. Granted, it can’t be much easier for team skaters, because they have to sell tickets much more often, but, whoof. Somebody needs to run a training course on how to do this stuff.

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2 responses to “Selling Tickets as Fresh Meat Is The Opposite of Fun

  1. yoganabisari

    So true!! My biggest challenge is that I have hit up everyone in the past year and a half and am having trouble getting people to go again when I am STILL not skating. They start giving me weird looks and ask “I remember last year when we went through this and you are still not skating in one of these?”

    • I know, right? It’s like a little jab at my ego every time a friend asks, “what team are you on again?” I’m looking forward to the day when we have a new-and-happy answer that question. 🙂

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